@IdiotOlympics: Smh 😂😂😂
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@hazelmotes1: This venomous snake is pretty scary. What can we do to make it even scarier? Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES
@Brianhopecomedy: After I saw that my wife "Checked In" to the mall I called to report her credit cards stolen.
@1Happytwit: Dont think about tomorrow because thats when the judge starts using the term premeditated.
@mishakey: I was telling this chick how I almost died during childbirth and she asked me when I'm having another one. I SAID I ALMOST DIED, CRAZY LADY.