@Jeffwni: Snail 1: Are you male or female?
Snail 2: Yes
Snail 1: Me too!
[they kiss passionately]
@OneFunnyMummy: My 3 moods:
1. I'm too tired for this shit
2. I'm too old for this shit
3. I'm too sober for this shit
@cambuslad: You know that pain which starts at your hip, runs down your leg, out the front door,and goes across the street to the bus stop... I've that.
@HallpassCanada: The "Beware of Cat" sign posted outside my house doesn't seem to be having the desired affect.
@canadasandra: Wanna know what it's like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal.
@Jandalize: I love when I open my dryer door and money falls out instead of my cat.