@Jeffwni: Snail 1: Are you male or female?
Snail 2: Yes
Snail 1: Me too!
[they kiss passionately]
@just1fool: My dog wouldn't shut up so I told him I killed the mailman. He was jealous but proud of me.
@Pascallisch: Proper labeling of axes is absolutely crucial.
@chicnlil1: The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses..
@AndrewNadeau0: INTERVIEWER: What happened at your last job?
ME: I was fired for being too literal.
I: How have you supported yourself since then?
@AimeeHelene1: Friend: Who's that?
Me: Oh...that's crazy Kathy.
F: Why do you call her that? Is she funny or something?
Me: No. She eats hair.