@KyleMcDowell86: [snake charmer struggling to get snake to stand up] I swear this never happens
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@unknownshoulder: Batman: "Shall we watch a film?" Superman: "Have you got Cape Fear?" Batman: "Only in revolving doors. Now, a film?"
@CatherineLMK: "Damnit!" -a burglar, discovering yet another drawer filled with dead batteries, take-out menus, and pen caps.
@Rlpihl: Noah: I need 2 of every animal Shark: even us? Noah: no, you can swim Unicorn: I'm pretty good at swimming Noah: go for it
@SteveKoehler22: Blonde in laundromat asks to have a sweater cleaned. Attendant : "Come again ?" ( not hearing ) Blonde: "Nope, Just mustard this time"