@fro_vo: Snap: i'm snap
Crackle: i'm crackle
Dad: hi snap and crackle i'm pop
@Douchekevin: If you ever saw me race to the liquor store 5 mins before it closes, you'd hire me for a getaway driver in a bank heist any day.
@Robinbuble: Made the mistake of ordering chlorine for the pool and researching Kenya so I'm tweeting this from what appears to be a windowed black van.
@RegularFred: Woman: [blushing] I was told there wasn't a single werewolf left in the world.
Werewolf: there isn't. I'm married.
@zachreinert03: People think having 5 sets of grandparents rules as kid on Xmas, and it does, but you pay for it on the back end having to go to 97 funerals
@TheWoodenslurpy: I can tell so much about a person just by guessing.