@JasonLastname: Sneak into the employee bathroom at Target and make some violent alien noises, maybe leave a jellyfish in the toilet
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@david8hughes: [interrogation] "How do u kno the deceased?" I was his drug dealer. "Louder for the tape?" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs.
@Juan_Incognito: I was licking this girl all over her face right up until she explained to me what doggy style was.
@sarcasticmommy4: My family went camping & left me home alone, like I'd be missing out. Oh please, don't leave me home with electricity & running water.