@thenatewolf: Sneaky? Dude, I got two handfuls of soup into a movie theater once.
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@therealeatwood: SANTA: I don’t need a surveillance guy. I see all! ELF ON SHELF: Seen these? [shows pics of Mommy kissing Santa Claus] S: When can u start
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Tell me one of your long term goals" Sleeping "No, I meant-" *leans in way too close* My answer isn't going to change
@Bexdora: Is that a pineapple in your pocket, or are you just....Why do you have a pineapple in your pocket?