@thenatewolf: Sneaky? Dude, I got two handfuls of soup into a movie theater once.
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@iAmJuddy: Wifey: We should get a chest freezer. Me: We don't need a freezer that big. Wifey: What if we need to hide bodies? Me: I love you.
@WhiskeySoured: If a bear is chasing you, don't run. Be very still and tweet about it because you're about to die.
@Smooheed: *puts on sexy underwear and high heels* *grabs whip* *flicks whip* *searches for scissors to extricate whip from hair*