@BoomBoomBetty: [sneezes and shoots my tampon out so hard it sets off another false missle alarm in Hawaii]
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@ThaJawn: Her: Oh no, I've lost my jacket.. Me: *appears from the shadows* (whispers) you left it at the restaurant *slinks back into the shadows*
@MicheleAKALips: You never realize what have till its gone........ Toilet paper is a good example of this.
@duplicitron: Probably the rudest thing you can do to a stingray is catch it with a fishing pole and then fly it like a kite.
@david8hughes: Wife: can u pick the kids up from school? Me blowing on the coffee in my 'Worlds Best Dad Quarter Finalist' mug: which school do they go to?