@CroweJam: Snooki, but without the orange tan and poofy hair. And she's in charge of North Korea.
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@shadonium: Me: do you love me? Siri: I'm only your assistance. Me: if you don't, I will jump off a bridge. Siri:there are two bridges near you.
@robolollycop: Teach a man to fish and he will evolve to become so skilled at it that he destroys the ocean and kills every last fish. Nice one education.
@DecantAndPour: I lost a very close friend and drinking buddy last week. She got her finger caught in a wedding ring.