@CroweJam: Snooki, but without the orange tan and poofy hair. And she's in charge of North Korea.
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@Kendragarden: Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
@TheAlexP: She said "you look like trouble"...so I nudged her down the stairs, because I don't like people falling short of their expectations.
@iwearaonesie: [on the phone] wife: My mom tripped over the dog me: Is she ok? wife: Yeah me: Can I talk to her? wife: Sure *calls for the dog*