@JennyJohnsonHi5: Snoop Dogg changed his name to Snoop Lion and says he's Bob Marley reincarnated, proving you can actually overdose on marijuana.
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@DomesticGoddss: If it takes a village to raise a child, why are my neighbors sipping coffee peacefully on their front porch while I do all the work?
@patnspankme: I haven't been this confused about what's going on since The Cranberries yodeled that one song about zombies.
@LostFelicia: Daughter singing: In your hand... In your hand. Me: Zombie? It's in your HEAD. D: No! The car keys you've been looking for the last 10 mins.