@JennyJohnsonHi5: Snoop Dogg changed his name to Snoop Lion and says he's Bob Marley reincarnated, proving you can actually overdose on marijuana.
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@Black__Elvis: I once had a brush with Death and then a floss and a rinse; no woman wants to get intimate with a dark annihilator of souls with bad teeth.
@Adar79Angie: I let friend's kid call my ex & say "Are you really my daddy?" while I'm in the background yelling "hang up the phone,he doesn't want you!"
@spies_please: CHASE: Hi we are calling to check for fraud you spent $40 at 7/11 ME: Yea CHASE: Then you went to Taco Bell at 3am ME: Are these questions