@LoveNLunchmeat: Snuck a peak at my therapist's notepad after telling her about my childhood, and it was just dollar signs.
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@bigmacher: No, I'm not telling my wife the reason we need a new blender is because I didn't remove the pit from the avocado, that's between us.
@CurlsOnGirls: I love people who order coffee like they're giving the pass code to a missile defense system.
@behindyourback: My 1 yr old only says the words "no," "mine," and "bye" and I tried it out and it turns out that's actually all you need.