@WoodyLuvsCoffee: So afraid of commitment I only play "Words With Acquaintances".
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@tastefactory: DOCTOR: We were all out of blood for your transfusion so we used Mountain Dew ME: [I don't hear bc I already snowboarded out the window]
@WhaJoTalkinBout: Every time my husband hides my pants, I have sex with him. Don't tell him I have more than one pair.
@Manda_like_wine: What's the proper salutation to use when writing a resignation letter to your children?