@WoodyLuvsCoffee: So afraid of commitment I only play "Words With Acquaintances".
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@SteveKoehler22: Snapchat is going public in March with a $30 billion IPO. Investors only hope the value of stock shares holds up longer than its snaps.
@Blondrbomber: When I see crying children and miserable parents- I run to the bathroom, crush up my birth control, and snort it.
@jonnysun: when u get caugt lying on ur resume but u still try to convince the interviewer that ur qualified for the job
@Bagyants: I bet when they discovered the radish everyone was like "Let's name it Rad!" and one guy was all "Let's dial that back a bit."