@WoodyLuvsCoffee: So afraid of commitment I only play "Words With Acquaintances".
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Overheard 2 dad's at the playground wondering if my kid was as creepy as me. Joke's on them. I don't have kids.
@HatfieldAnne: Words I thought I would never have to yell from the kitchen into the living room: "DON'T GIVE THE CAT SCOTCH!"
@Douchekevin: A 25 year old just told me she's gonna rock my world. I'm 47 so I assume she's gonna show me where to buy comfortable shoes & soft licorice