@WoodyLuvsCoffee: So afraid of commitment I only play "Words With Acquaintances".
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@duplicitron: Probably the rudest thing you can do to a stingray is catch it with a fishing pole and then fly it like a kite.
@bobvulfov: (staying in on a friday night) this is depressing and lonely (at a bar on a friday night) oh wow i hate this more
@iwearaonesie: wife: That guy is texting and driving! That is so dangerous! me [holding a donut in each hand and steering with my knee]: So dangerous