@WoodyLuvsCoffee: So afraid of commitment I only play "Words With Acquaintances".
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@SeanInCypress: I don't claim to know what happens inside the dishwasher, but I'm guessing that it's like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.
@RidiculousSheri: Thou shalt not winky face smiley another man's twitter crush. -Emojenesis 8:15
@Ms_WhateverV: A woman stopped me in the street and asked me to show her how to get to the hospital. So I pushed her under a bus.
@SwartyComedy: If Shakespeare were alive today, he'd write a tragedy about the fate of the single French fry that comes with every order of onion rings.