@fletchworld73: So after vacuuming with the new Dyson, I'm pleasantly surprised to learn that the carpet upstairs is actually hardwood.
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@BoomBoomBetty: Can’t. Busy deleting 1,500 Black Friday emails from companies I haven’t purchased anything from in 10 years.
@KevinFrisbee: "Nope. Nope. Yeah right. Nope. Close! Nah. Nope. Almost! Hahaha, you're terrible at this." - piece of popcorn stuck between teeth.
@FatherofTweet: Guy stole my bike so I got in a cab & said follow that guy! He said sure, whats his twitter name? We laughed & hi-fived & I need a new bike.