@andylassner: So Amish people just yell their tweets from the top of their barns?
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@DadBeard: By the time my father was my age he had amassed, like, 30 coffee cans full of screws. I have none. What have I done with my life?
@CoolHegel: "This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut