@andylassner: So Amish people just yell their tweets from the top of their barns?
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@kumailn: Twitter 1 Act: -Person misreads sarcasm -You point out it's sarcasm -"I know I was being sarcastic back" -Sharpen pencil, jam it in own eye
@Super_Cynthia: I sleep with my clothes on and one eye open. Not because I'm scared, but my zipper is broken and I've had too much botox on one side.
@BlindChow: "Shotgun!" I yell as I push past the others and climb into the seat. I am subsequently escorted from the airplane.