@hero_ofthenight: So apparently airport security doesn't like it when you call shotgun before boarding a plane.
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@jackiembouvier: Me: So, what are your thoughts? Therapist: Well, I think you may have some boundary issues. Me: [In his lap] Are you saying I'm fat?!
@just1fool: Beer:"You know what would be funny?" Me:"No. What?" Beer:"Really? Finish me and have four more then I'll ask again." Me:"Yes, sir."
@DeanB15: I think the only job requirement you need to become a TSA agent, is to know how to do a really good eye roll while you're chewing gum.