@jsteele3966: So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
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@causticbob: What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team? The guy would survive the first round.
@WilliamAder: As it turns out, if you're with a group of people, it's "Christmas caroling." If you do it alone it's "creating a public nuisance."