@TattedChanel: So Brad Pitt is being investigated for child abuse after yelling at his kids on a flight. Better send my mum to the electric chair then.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Vodkantots: Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, ma'am? Me: I left my pills in my other bag & I'm about to get REALLY chatty. C: You're free to go.
@BriarSlyMalice: NO...I don't "make plans" because plans suggest INTENT... ...which is typically the distinction between second & first degree convictions.
@citizenkawala: My wife’s story about her day had 18 sub plots, two false finishes, buried the lead and introduced a new character in the third act.
@TankCesar: My doctor tells me I'm healthy enough for sexual activity...I'm just not attractive enough.