@TattedChanel: So Brad Pitt is being investigated for child abuse after yelling at his kids on a flight. Better send my mum to the electric chair then.
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@Nikkeya08: Mom 1: My son loves gluten free chips. Mom 2: Asher eats everything organic. Me: My son had a chocolate donut and a booger for breakfast.
@badenhorst: Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants.
@imskytrash: barista: name for the latte? me: it's Zach with an "h" *two minutes later* barista: i've got a latte for Hach
@Darlainky: My daughter showed me a beautiful handmade wind chime project on Pinterest. I told her, "I don't know who you think I am right now."