@TattedChanel: So Brad Pitt is being investigated for child abuse after yelling at his kids on a flight. Better send my mum to the electric chair then.
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@psinerd: When someone asks me if I could hold their baby I immediately drop my phone, try to pick it up and drop it again twice, and then say "Sure".
@krautsider: Top 4 horrified face expressions: 4. dragged away by crocodile 3. stabbed by serial killer 2. mauled by bear 1. no toilet paper
@Brentweets: Playing Guess Who these days is hard "Is your person white?" "Excuse me?" "Is your person white?" "I don't see skin color I just see people"
@robfee: Fox News: Trump looks strong! CNN: Hillary should get the win! MSNBC: If you put a buncha hot dogs in a hamburger bun, is that a sandwich???