@rhysjamesy: So cute how this taxi driver is taking an unnecessarily long route and driving slowly so he gets to spend more time with me.
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@dank_dino: *judge bangs gavel on desk* *judge cooks gavel breakfast in the morning* *judge tell gavel he loves her* *judge marries gavel*
@fulciHugazombie: Like most parents, I live in fear of the day I have to explain PRETTY WOMAN to my daughter.
@Vodkantots: It's like my mother always told me, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." Then she said I looked fat.