@LeonEarlgrey: So embarrassing when you compliment a lady on her large belly and it turns out she's just pregnant.
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@brianbowman73: There's a doctor here to see you. Doctor who? No, I think it's a non time traveling one.
@lisaxy424: 30 seconds staring confused at the calculator app before realizing why my phone wasn't calling the number I dialed.
@DelanieFischer: People who don't have a name for their newborn, What the shit did you do for 9 months?
@Reverend_Scott: Obama: Wave at the people, Joe. Biden: IMMA POINT AT'EM Obama: Please just wave. Biden: