@LeonEarlgrey: So embarrassing when you compliment a lady on her large belly and it turns out she's just pregnant.
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@Rollinintheseat: If a British person calls 911 and says, "It's a bloody mess" how does the operator know if there's blood or the person is just being British
@AbbyHasIssues: 1. Rage against the machine. 2. Check to make sure machine is plugged in. 3. Apologize to the toaster for the misunderstanding.
@yungfedora: *hits bong* *abuses bong* *bong calls bong protection agency* *bong custody taken* *bong put in foster home* *bong misses old life*
@hunz74: A scientist said that fish will evolve into "flish" & will be able to fly. Now I can't stop thinking about "flarks, flhales & flea horses."