@RealSugarFree: So far at work I've straightened a paper clip then tried bending it back to its original shape. Employee of the month right here.
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@hippieswordfish: [in bed] WIFE: *pulls away from kissing* does he really have to be here ME: yes i paid good money for this NBA JAM ANNOUNCER: HES HEATING UP
@pickupIines: do you generate electricity with water through the process of hydropower because dam
@SortaBad: "So it's agreed? If we're both single at age 40 we're doing this?" Yes. If we're alone at 40, we're getting matching racecar beds