@RealSugarFree: So far at work I've straightened a paper clip then tried bending it back to its original shape. Employee of the month right here.
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@clemdytan: My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk.
@mkpaulsen: I asked my friend if he wanted a drink and he said to surprise him so I brought back a side salad.