@MisfitMuse: So far, I've gotten away with passing as an adult again today.
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@Shock_Monster: "Hey, let's get the guys that built the Obamacare website to update our app!" - Twitter
@tedalexandro: We get it. If your candidate doesn't win in November, you're moving to the whitest English speaking country you can drive to.
@hippieswordfish: ME: *opens planner and puts on reading glasses* no im sorry looks like i can't make it FRIEND: you're holding a VCR warranty brochure