@Swishergirl24: So far my favorite part about being pregnant is telling people I'm not pregnant when they ask when I'm due.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@daemonic3: PRIEST: Do you take Florence to be your wife? THE MACHINE: I do PRIEST: Does anyone have anything- RAGE: [from the back] I'M AGAINST THIS
@Home_Halfway: An octopus is very cool because if Snow White and the Seven Dwarves were drowning, it would have enough tentacles to save all of them.
@TheCiscoKidder: My 2yr old pointed at my crotch and said, "Big pee pee!" I'm taking him with me everywhere I go from now on.
@AlexEllisdon: If I was in charge of SWAT I'd change the name to the "Special Weapons And Grenades" team just so police would have to radio in for SWAG