@Swishergirl24: So far my favorite part about being pregnant is telling people I'm not pregnant when they ask when I'm due.
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@laffytakky: In the past hour I've dropped my phone and my computer. Let me hold your crying baby.
@AnOrangeSNES: In space, nobody can hear you scream for ice cream. So remember, before trips to colonize the galaxy bring your Ben & Jerrys.
@Twtercide: Instead of catching your child every time they fall, teach them how to effectively execute a tuck and roll. You're welcome.