@Swishergirl24: So far my favorite part about being pregnant is telling people I'm not pregnant when they ask when I'm due.
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@notacroc: [date] HER: the last guy i went out with was as boring as a sack of potatoes ME: [gets up from table] my son is a potato
@hoedeehoe: 1st date: (don't let her know how self centered you are) Me: what's your favorite thing that I've said so far tonight?
@jus4golf: Found my first gray pubic hair. The people in line with me at the market were not nearly as impressed as I was.
@TheSeanBrewster: I was feeling depressed, then saw a guy with one arm and thought "oh man, I could be getting so much more sympathy if I was missing an arm!"