@RykWeston: So, funny story. That Thundercat I shot on my front porch was some dumbass kid in a costume. Regardless, he's going up on the wall.
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@Scdavis24: Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
@Tmoney68: Brie is my favorite cheese that sounds like a white girl you meet for a mani/pedi while drinking Chardonnay & quoting "Mean Girls."
@PAPIKAIBITCH: SOME GIRLS GET BEATEN UP BY THEIR BOYFRIENDS AND STICK AROUND SAYING "I SEE SOMETHING IN HIM" LIKE WTF YOU SEE??? A REMATCH?
@ShesARealGenius: [Snail Court] Snail Lawyer: Permission to approach the bench, Your Honor? Snail Judge: I'm sorry; we don't have that kind of time.