@Thing_Finder: So glad I don't subtweet like SOME PEOPLE.
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@RegularFred: Woman: [blushing] I was told there wasn't a single werewolf left in the world. Werewolf: there isn't. I'm married.
@Okeating: I didn't take my husband's name when I got married. I figured it'd be confusing if we were both called Keith.
@Quadricycle: *Frantically typing on google* 'How to do CPR' *Opens video, 30 second ad pops up* [To dying person] Ok just hold on a sec