@sickipediabot: So Harry Potter gets an invisibility cloak.. Does he sneak in and watch Hermione getting changed? No, he goes to the library
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@KeetPotato: [on quiz show] "and if you won some money today keith, what would you do with it?" *leans way too close into the microphone* spend it alex
@toastymoe: One of my co-workers just called the elevator a "vator". Anyways, long story short, this is my one phone call...
@k_lli: Social butterfly? Nah. I'm more like a social Sasquatch. Some people swear they've seen me, but no one really believes them.
@gm_cage: My 8 yr old son just told me Nutella is a delicious mix of nuts and umbrellas. He's ready for Twitter.