@carlyken: So how do you stop eating the endless breadsticks at Olive Garden does the restaurant close or are you supposed to bring a spotter with you?
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@BorowitzReport: Romney: "I have nothing but respect for women. I'm good friends with the owners of some."
@StephenBCramer: Yahoo news reports that Johnny Manziel was forced to sit in the middle seat of an airliner. I guess they should have let him fly the plane.
@Sal_Stevens: Why was a 9 year old allowed on a shooting range. In my school yoyo's were banned after Jenny got a black eye doing an 'Around the World'
@kaytaa: Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo". I shouldn't laugh right?