@PaperWash: So how long do I have to microwave this spider before I let it bite me?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Home_Halfway: Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I'm describing him.
@KentWGraham: If you wear a Bluetooth phone piece in your ear, you can say “You’re an idiot” to just about anyone you walk past.
@DirtyMelodies: I want my boyfriend to get a tattoo on his neck so I won't have to worry about him getting a job and not having time to hang out with me.
@jwoodham: Before I do anything important, I always ask myself "would this gain house points for Gryffindor or lose house points for Gryffindor?"