@PaperWash: So how long do I have to microwave this spider before I let it bite me?
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@samalmightysam: I want my marriage to be a forever one night stand, laughing and joking, beer drinking, dancing, pizza in bed kinda relationship.
@MadameSnippy: I'm the only stalker I know with OCD. After I break in to watch you sleep, I fold your laundry.
@karentozzi: Ten Ways To Tell If Your Kitchen Is Haunted: 1.) Flying forks 2.) Pre-fried eggs 3.) Fridge moaning/wailing 4-10.) Ghosts