@SaraMansford: So I called up the Captain, please bring me my wine. He said: "ma'am, this is a cruise. Please don't call me again if there's no emergency"
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@TheMichaelRock: It's not really a random act of kindness if you planned it, photographed it, and posted it to social media.
@slimmy_shady: Hot girls who complain that you can't get laid... do you live on a deserted island?
@Brianhopecomedy: My 5 year old thinks that there's a monster under his bed so I assured him that it won't get him as long as he stays in bed until 8AM.