@Robert_Beau: So I harvested my tomato today, it's bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
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@outsmartedmommy: The doctor told me I need to rest so I dropped the kids off at his office & now he won't stop calling me as if that's going to help me rest.
@internetluke: [first date] Me: don't let her know you're a lizard Her: why did you just say that? Me: (gets scared and loses my tail but I grow a new one)
@Mi_SSbehaved: My son touched my leg & said "so soft!" Then he asked for his IPad back & I gave it to him. Girls aren't exactly rocket science, guys.
@BoutCrazed: The way I see it, the only thing my daughter's little "boyfriend" needs to know about me is I ain't afraid to go back to prison.