@LovestruckLayla: So I have one coworker who uses "irregardless" and another who uses "unappropriate" and now I'm over trying to conversate with these people.
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@Brianhopecomedy: Lying on the hammock while my wife does yard work. Don't know exactly what she's planting but the hole she dug is slightly bigger than me.
@Reverend_Scott: [Paranormal Investigator shows up at Disney World] Ok, show me this so-called "haunted mansion"
@_davidlucas_: The best part of Halloween is all the Jehovah's Witnesses wondering why they're being given candy.
@68Cly29: The embarrassing moment when you bring handcuffs to 'gamenight' and she brings Monopoly.