@LovestruckLayla: So I have one coworker who uses "irregardless" and another who uses "unappropriate" and now I'm over trying to conversate with these people.
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@rocknthepurple: My right eye is twitching like it's at some kind of techno dance party that the rest of me wasn't invited to.
@Thynebear: Executioner: Before we do this, what would you like for your last meal? "I'll have a panda please" [judge, under his breath] Can he do that?
@briangaar: Hi mom, we shot the new Hobbit movie today. I'm orc #56, the one accidentally wearing a watch. The director was really mad.