@drinkcherrycoke: So I just found out those stick figures on the back of cars are not to keep track of how many pedestrians you've hit,i will be removing mine
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@dumbbeezie: Give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and you'll have to fix the washing machine yourself with YouTube videos
@MikeCanRant: There are shockingly few security guards at dog shows. You can run out and pet 4 or 5 dogs before they catch you. Last time I pet 8 of them.
@RunwayDan: The word "defenestration" means "to throw someone out a window." Which means this happens so often we needed a word for it.