@TheRolo: So I listened to some LL Cool J then kept licking my lips like he does. I found myself in HR. Good thing I wasn't listening to KISS.
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@_Water_Baby: Scary is handing your car keys to the same kid who unintentionally locked himself in the bathroom that morning.
@TechnicallyRon: Life is stupid. You can ACCIDENTALLY make a baby but you can't ACCIDENTALLY make a cake.
@Fred_Delicious: "son, did i ever tell you about how I served in Nom?" "dad, don't you mean Nam?" "sorry son i ate a small cake at the end of that sentence"
@zachreinert03: I hate "save the date" engagement cards. After divorce you should have to send out "hey forget about that one date 6 months ago" cards