@dubiousgenius: So, I need an aquaculture licence to keep fish in a barrel and a firearms licence to shoot them. This is not as easy as I was led to believe
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@Home_Halfway: ME: I hate the Kentucky Derby. You get all dressed up and excited and the whole thing only lasts 15 seconds WIFE: Oh is that right
@OhNoSheTwitnt: This "violence in the workplace" seminar is only teaching us what we shouldn't do. No fighting techniques or anything.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: *puts on ballerina dress* *puts on ballerina shoes* *puts on ballerina tiara* Me: Who are you supposed to be? 4: A ninja.