@Andrea__B__: So I think we have pretty much covered what to do if life gives you lemons
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@wife3kidsnodogs: How come an extremely angry woman can pack everything she owns in an hour, but it takes her a week to pack for vacation?
@TheToddWilliams: [murder trial] LAWYER: So you unplugged your wife's life support for five minutes? COMPUTER TECH: Sometimes that works.
@QwertyJones3: Whenever I tell her that I want to put my Butterfinger into her MilkyWay, she Snickers.