@yobrah_: So if you want to be sure your internet history is deleted, just whisper 'please delete my internet history' into any hole on the computer
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@SteveSuckington: What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get? Mine is a skittle.
@Breadery: Snow White succumbs to avian influenza as a message against the laziness of magically hiring animals to complete household chores.
@Mr_Kapowski: ME: Do we have Bacon Bits? WIFE: Fridge. Why? ME: *filling pockets* No reason *dog park* PERSON: Sorry. He's normally behaved ME: No prob
@Schmoodles: Arguing with religious people is like trying to explain quantum mechanics to a potato.