@yobrah_: So if you want to be sure your internet history is deleted, just whisper 'please delete my internet history' into any hole on the computer
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@gf3: me: *pretending to know about vegetables to impress the cashier* corm is one of my favorite yellows *gingerly taps banana*
@sammyrhodes: "You know what would make a good gift for this 3yr old? A harmonica." - people without kids
@PS_IRuddYou: This girl text me: "your adorable I text back: no YOU'RE adorable Now she likes me and I was just pointing out her typo...