@jonnysun: so im jus chilig on a ledge premtendig to be gargoyle when these firemen show up tellig me dont jump but they got a big trampoline so idk
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@Shock_Monster: HR: Let's talk about why you were late today. Me: I told you! HR: DRAGONS AREN'T "RELIABLE TRANSPORTATION!" Me: Duh. That's why I was late.
@KateWhineHall: Just finished up some dusting. And by dusting I mean I blew on a shelf and then sneezed 6 times in a row.
@Manda_like_wine: Eternal damnation for the sorry acquaintance who cons you into watching his favorite film and keeps looking to see if you're reacting.