@LisaFarted: So I'm trying to get my husband to go to Paris with me but so far my best argument has been, "I will kill you in your sleep."
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@ErrenMichaels: [a handsome man falls and cuts his hand] Me: *tries to rip the hem of my dress to make a bandage, like a Regency heroine, but I'm too weak*
@Ellierocks2013: Door says push.. I pull.. If it says pull I push.. I'm ether a hardcore Rebel or I need glasses...
@electrolemon: a cute girl stopped behind my laptop as I was full screen on a pic of bread and I didn't know what to say so I stammered out "I like bread"