@hatehug: So inspired right now.
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@Paxochka: Champagne says I'm classy. Vodka says I can do anything I want. My therapist says I have to stop talking to my drinks.
@SteveSuckington: Fun prank: 1: steal your married friends phone 2: change your name to "Brandi from the club" 3: call them repeatedly and hang up at 3AM
@Marlebean: Him: Your body is like poetry Me: That's so nice! H: A haiku M:.. H: Little on the top, big in the middle, little on the bottom M: Just stop