@MikeRider24: So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend.
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@MrsGoose69: Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. u were suppose 2 make me funnier, smarter & put me in a good mood.... I saw the photos - we need to talk.
@aka_fatman: *writing résumé* Strengths? I'm great at multitasking *explosion in kitchen* My popcorn! *car crashes through fence* I forgot I was driving!
@truegritrumble: ME: I don't know if I'm ready for this...emotionally. CHIPOTLE EMPLOYEE: You have to order something or get out of the line.