@GaryJanetti: So is the Pope like... single now?
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@markedly: On an afternoon walk, a handsome stranger hands you a note. It says "By the time you read this, I will already be petting your dog." You look down. It's true.
@UncleDuke1969: [reptile house] Zookeeper: Would you like to pet the snake? Wife: Sure! Me: Oh, so it's okay when HE asks?!?
@EJGomez: LAWYER 1: numbers never lie so I call numbers to the stand LAWYER 2: your honor I call shakiras hips to the stand JUDGE: damn lol