@ShittyComedian: So it turns out that fat bearded man whose lap I was sitting on at the mall wasn't Santa. LOL drugs.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MatCro: GF: I'm moving out if you don't stop pretending you work at a supermarket. ME: Ok. Do you need any help with your packing?
@QwertyJones3: "I'm usually closed off. But if you get close to me, you'll find that I'll really open up." -Automatic sliding doors
@Rlpihl: [Family Feud] What's your answer?! *whispers into microphone* Please help me, I don't even know these people