@sozjalltheway: So, It's not ok to write "always best to have a spare incase you break the first one" on facebook, when someone announces a second pregnancy
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@dafloydsta: [asking a girl out] ME: So do you have a dog? HER: Yes, I do. She's very playful. ME: *nervously* Do you know if she's busy later?
@MsCassieDaniels: A cat is the animal equivalent of the girl who hated you for no reason in high school.
@Vice_Queen: My ex is such a loser that if there was a competition for the world's biggest loser, he'd still only win 2nd place.
@ktmcburr: Great shoulder tattoo. I bet butterflies are really significant to you and have shaped you into the person you are today, right?