@sozjalltheway: So, It's not ok to write "always best to have a spare incase you break the first one" on facebook, when someone announces a second pregnancy
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@imence2: My daughter can open just about any front door using a credit card, so your kids honor roll certificate seems a little useless right now.
@AaronFullerton: A fun dream I have is to stand in the middle of Comic-Con, yell "What's so cool about Star Wars anyway?", then jetpack through the ceiling.
@withanewname: "Kids, part of my comprehensive zombie apocalypse plan are these Tshirts to keep up with each other" "Daddy, why do ours say appetizer?"