@illiter8too: So many athletes thank god for their wins, but I want to see athletes who angrily curse god when they lose.
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@ch000ch: (reads smudged writing on hand during date) i just want to say that u look really preffy tonight
@Parkerlawyer: I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Palin: I'm seriously considering a presidential run. Reporter: Do you even know what the word seriously means? Palin: Don't refudiate me.
@bornmiserable: Coming soon to Fox and Friends: a crime fighting duo useless at stopping mass shootings. They are THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS, Wednesdays at 9 pm.