@illiter8too: So many athletes thank god for their wins, but I want to see athletes who angrily curse god when they lose.
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@heatherlou_: I almost confused a laxative and Ibuprofen and that would have changed my plans for the evening significantly
@noogscorner: A young Lil' Wayne sits alone typing lyrics into Word 97 when a cartoon paperclip suddenly appears on-screen. [Did you mean "digger"?]
@Chumpstring: interviewer: for your most recent job you put down “i cleaned out my car some” me: that’s right interviewer: and for a reference you put down “my friend jarret” me: he was there