@ceejoyner: So many brave flute players were killed by cobras in picnic baskets before one of them tried an Indian song.
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@SortaBad: A good prank is to rent a Mercedes, stick a huge bow on it, and park it in front of your neighbor's house
@Ristolable: HI MOM. YOU'RE GONNA BE SO PROUD. I JUST WON AN ARGUMENT ON THE INTERNET. Sorry caps lock was still on from the argument. But I won.
@dorsalstream: ADAM: Let's take turns naming animals. EVE: Ok. Lion. A: Um, sea lion. E: Horse. A: Uh, seahorse E: Cow. A: Sea cow. E: Idiot. A: Sea idiot!
@prontopup: "'Earth' without 'the' is just 'ar'." - Pirates If you haven't seen "Earth without art is just eh" then you prolly didn't like this tweet.