@ScottLinnen: So many haunted "mansions." Sad how this country is killing the middle class ghost.
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@QwertyJones3: Fun prank: Super glue a baby to the floor and see how many people try to pick it up as they walk by
@AimeeHelene1: Hi, I'm a fruit fly that could live here undetected, but, no, I'm gonna fly in this lady's face til she makes it her mission to destroy me.
@ambamthankyamam: Hey people that twitter says are "similar to me", where do people like us put our car keys?!?!?!
@jazmasta: I'd like to buy this EXTRA SMALL condom please. "Sir, that is a sleeping bag" *winks at cashier continually until she finishes her shift*