@jeremysmiles: So many homophobes turn out to be secretly gay that I'm nervous I'm secretly a giant spider
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@tbhjustkoaIa: i love when people apologize to me about their rooms being dirty I’m just like lmao u should see my life
@desi_princess: Seriously you guys, the only reason to check Facebook, is to find out where people are going, and then go somewhere else.
@HatfieldAnne: Tell me again how I unloaded the dishwasher too loudly when you were watching golf. Detectives will want to know exactly how this went down.
@thestlouisan: *Plots revenge by getting a job at a fast food restaurant and waiting for nemesis to drive thru and not putting a straw in their bag*