@jeremysmiles: So many homophobes turn out to be secretly gay that I'm nervous I'm secretly a giant spider
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@MythicPicnic: Bought a new exercise program Instructions said to stop if I felt any discomfort So I did
@CharmandBrains: A required corporate training course said to build strong relationships. Also, HR told me it's "inappropriate" to kiss strangers.
@ArfMeasures: ME: I'll put a sexy movie on DATE: Good idea *presses play* D: Shrek? M: omg embarrassing D: Haha M: [fumbling with DVD] Meant to be Shrek 2