@TheTweetOfGod: So many Jehovah's Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah's Evidence.
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@MartinPilgrim1: My top 3 assumptions when doorbell rings: 1. Murderer 2. Police telling me everyone is dead 3. That book I ordered about positive thinking
@LosLos__: •speed dating• I'm looking for a girl with fire in her eyes. Her: Hi. My name is Carrie.
@briangaar: At this point, I'm pretty sure the main reason Donald Trump ran for president was to get more Twitter followers