@TheTweetOfGod: So many Jehovah's Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah's Evidence.
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@SuperApple8: Me: BARTENDER! Bring me another beer. Him: Mom, I'm doing my homework. Me: *claps* Star! Him: I hate Twitter. Me: *belch* blocked.
@dafloydsta: 1. OMG will this ever end? 2. OMG will this ever end? 3. OMG will this ever end? -top 3 things on my mind when I'm in a a conversation
@evanrhorne: As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: "Let me see your phone"