@TheTweetOfGod: So many Jehovah's Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah's Evidence.
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@jnellbg: I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don't have great childing skills either.
@Swishergirl24: Police officer: Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I'm just as confused as you are.
@stevevsninjas: Surgeon: Appendectomies are tricky, you sure you got this? Dr. Wacky Inflatable Tube Man: *flings scalpel into ceiling* You bet!
@squirrel74wkgn: Crap, I hate good-bye kisses. I think that I may have used too much tongue with my mother-in-law.