@Sarcasticsapien: So many people are worried that The Walking Dead could happen and I'm over here terrified that Idiocracy is actually happening.
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@UNTRESOR: Skrillex! It's your cousin Marvin. Marvin Skrillex! Know that sound you've been looking for? I think I found it! *holds phone up to blender*
@OfficeofSteve: The wife wants me to be a doctor in our sex role playing. So I guess I'll make her wait an hour, then send her to a specialist
@Yankeegiant72: I like listening to Phil Collins in the shower. He gets creeped out when he sees me, though.
@RandomAntics: Woman: Please send an ambulance, I'm having contradictions!! Operator: Ma'am, do you mean 'contractions'? Woman: Yes! No!