@68Cly29: So maybe downloading the ruler app to measure the snow wasn't such a great idea
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@Ms_WhateverV: A woman stopped me in the street and asked me to show her how to get to the hospital. So I pushed her under a bus.
@shopkins776: Do you wish you were always broke? Are you tired of having a thriving social life? Is too much sleep boring you? Parenthood. It's for you
@david8hughes: [lost in Spain] Wife: ask that man where we are Me [pretending to speak Spanish with a local]: gracias Wife: well? Me: we are in Spain
@Bunnydurden: I wish mirrors and cameras would get together and figure out what I really look like.