@CMFC99: So me and my demons are gonna have a few bloody mary's and see where the day takes us. Would you and your demons like to tag along?
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@TheMichaelRock: Oh, did my tweet insulting a celebrity upset you? Maybe you should tell them about it the next time you guys hang out.
@lottiegwalker: Why do they call it alcoholics anonymous if you introduce yourself?
@slimmy_shady: 3 am phone call, "Hey, are you asleep?" Nope, Im skydiving.
@leshnevsky: Me: - Sweetie, why is the bottle of whiskey half empty? Wife: - Because you're a pessimist, honey!
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