@CMFC99: So me and my demons are gonna have a few bloody mary's and see where the day takes us. Would you and your demons like to tag along?
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@Swishergirl24: I'm developing an app that makes a cricket sound effect at the end of my coworkers' stories.
@Only_Fast_Eddie: People tell me that I have a unique way of lighting up a room. It's called arson and those people are called witnesses.
@sploosk: ME: I need to pee really bad TEACHER: can you hold it? ME: probably not. my hands aren't very good at retaining liquid
@gogglepossum: Cop: [knocks] Dinosaur: can I help you? Cop: we've had reports of small arms fire [Flaming T-Rex runs past screaming]
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