@CMFC99: So me and my demons are gonna have a few bloody mary's and see where the day takes us. Would you and your demons like to tag along?
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@MehrangizC: That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening..
@danagould: I was having a political fight with someone on Twitter while my dog was out back barking at the wind. Then we switched.
@TheBoydP: Marriage tip: If your wife says “I didn’t do it” what she means is “You did it”. Accept it and don’t worry that you don't remember doing it.