@DCpierson: So much gross product placement in THE SHINING. It's like, fine, I'll buy an axe.
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@ibid78: You kids have no idea how lucky you are. Back in my day we had to shave our jokes into the sides of cats and throw those cats at passers by.
@KentWGraham: If you text your boss that you can’t come in and include the poop emoji, he doesn’t ask any questions.
@OhighIsis: Mom called to ask if I'd take her shopping. Me: What time? Mom: Anytime between 1-4. Apparently my Mom works for the cable company now.
@Leemanish: I get home late, dead tired, & see my name in big, bloody letters on the bedroom wall - & I'm like, nope, I will deal w/ THIS in the morning